Arlene Shirlee : Dear Spammer, I Love You

April 4, 2010

Leena Shirlee to Ben Hackett: “Just cuz you’re shootin porn/doesn’t mean you use sloppy form.”

Filed under: Leena Shirlee — ArleneShirlee @ 8:21 pm
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From: Benjamin Hackett

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: March 28th, 2010

Subject: Re: Breakup

WHATTT?
You really got the guts to break up with me over email,bitch??!?!


Tell you what!
I just made a nice compilation of your best scenes and put it up for
download right here.

Guess what,password for opening the file is: youbitch

Oh and btw: This email just went out to your parents.
I bet they didn’t know you’re into dirty stuff like this.

Cheers!

Your ex bf Ben

From: Leena Shirlee
To: Ben Hackett
Date: March 28th
Subject: Re: Re: Breakup

Well Ben, I tried to go to your house to break up with you in person but your dick was in your moms mouth! Since you both looked like you were enjoying yourselves so much I went home and typed an email to you.

thank you for the compilation of my best scenes, however! The lighting at 00:01:34 was a bit off, though. Were using a halogen or tungsten light? Also, it’s not helpful to have the camera guy jerking off while filming, it makes for a very unsteady shot. Do you want your viewers to cum, or throw up from motion sickness? Let me quote from my mother now: “Just cuz you’re shootin porn/doesn’t mean you can use sloppy form.”

I’m happy to consult with you on any film-related questions, however let’s just leave our relationship in the greasy sperm-encrusted ditch I kicked it in.

All my best,
Leena

Leena Shirlee to Nelly Musa: “I come from a long line of wool tycoons.”

Filed under: Leena Shirlee — ArleneShirlee @ 8:13 pm
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From: Nelly Musa

To: Leena Shirlee

Subject: I wish we can become friends.

Date: March 26th, 2010
Hi dear,

how are you today? my name is Nelly Musa Oman i hope that every things
is ok with you as it is my great pleassure to contact you in having
communication with you, please i wish you will have the desire with me so
that we can get to know each other better and see what happened in
future.After getting your contact from(Internet) i pick interest on you,

I will be very happy if you can write me through my email for easiest
communication and to  know all about each other,and also give you my
picture and more details about me, here is my email(nellymusaa@gmail.com)
i will be waiting to hear from you as i wish you all the best for your
day.your new friend, Nelly.Get yourself a cool, short @gmail.com Email ID
now   nellymusaa@gmail.com


From: Leena Shirlee

To: Nely Musa

Date: March 27th, 2010

Subject: Re: I wish we can become friends.

Hello Nelly, well-met this is Leena! I am happy we know eachother! I hope I am not too forward saying this, but you have very nice eyes. The kind of eyes  I would like to gargle with while standing in a vanilla-scented breeze.

I hope you like me! What do you like best about me? Name my three best traits here: (I’ll help you fill out one if you are bashful!)

What I like best about Leena is.

1:

2:

3: BIG HONEST CANS.

From: Nelly Musa

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: March 28th, 2009

Subject: Re: Re: I wish we can become friends

Dear,

I am so much happy for your urgent reply to my email,after reading your email, i got inspired for your honesty.i foud out the following characters in you despite that we have not met for the first time.

i discoverd………….

1, your are honest

2 God fearing,

3,  caring etc, please try and reply my second email to you.

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Nelly Musa

Date: March 27th, 2010

Subject: Re: Re: I  wish we can become friends

Hi Nelly! How are you today? I am doing well. I am glad you have discovered the goodness in me, especially the god fearing goodness.  So many people tell me I am not god fearing enough! I say what more can I do?!  I already pray, go to church, and hang sacrificial geese from my mantle as directed by ecclestiastes 2:16  “And god directed hezekiah to slay the golden goose and display it in his hearth as a signal of his loyalty.”

What is your favorite bible verse?

I have tried so many dating sites, to be honest, and I haven’t been able to find any good christians! Most of them seem like god-fearing people but they always wind up running away from me–lol!! I guess I must be too “hardcore” for them. But I say, if you REALLY believe in the bible, you must take it as the WORD OF GOD even if it means eating pork only on wednesdays, washing your underwear privately (in your bathtub or a bucket in your basement) and salting virgins before baking.

I would like to suggest we have our first date somewhere public–there are “crazies” on the internet, lol!!! Do you like loose leaf teas? There is a tea-house by my church, they have a really amazing chrysanthemum tea. If you don’t like tea, there is also a wheatgrass bar but I won’t drink the demon rum.

In the blood of the lamb,
Leena


From: Nelly Musa

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: March 28th, 2010

Subject: Re: Re: Re: I wish we can become friends

Dear Leena Shirlee

I thank God for some one like you OK,one will never be all perfect to human,yes they may say whatever they like against you but the end will justify the means OK.after the death of my father a lot of opposition came from his relative but i so much thank God whom i believe in.
Always be yourself never you mind what the world may say OK,i guess you are a very busy person but i thank god for time you make available to chat with me,.

i believe as time goes on we will know our self better than this.i m from Liberia and now in Nig. for some reasons which i will disclose to you later as a Friend.

Were are you from/age?

Sincerely,

Nelly


From: Leena Shirlee

To: Nelly Musa

Date: April 4th, 2010

Subject: Re: Re: Re: I wish we can become friends


Nelly!

I am very very  sorry I have been so remiss in my correspondence with you. I hope you are well.

I have been away for the past several days after finding out that “Nettles” our beloved family sheep back home in Minnesota (the farm where I grew up) died a painful death from a rare genetic condition called Pastoricus Scrofulatus or  Barn Scrofula. I didn’t know this but, apparently  when sheep get to be too old, their wool becomes so coarse it is no longer sellable in the wool market. I come from a long line of wool tycoons,  by the way, and we’ve managed to become one of the top dealers in something called “EconoFleece” that is, taking wool from less prime areas on the sheep (such as around the rectal and scrotum area) and treating it with lye so that it becomes very soft. Anyway, as far as poor Nettles is concerned, seeing as we stopped shearing her regularly, she began to nibble off parts of her own wool here and there. The condition causes skin irriations, (among  other things) and we believe she did this to relieve herself of the itching (we also had her on heavy medication)…Well, sad to say but Nettles choked to death on a shank of her own brittle wool. My family feels terrible about this–had we known this was a serious health risk we would have kept shearing her regularly. But you know how it is when you’ve got a big business to run.

I know it sounds like a silly thing seeing as it’s a sheep but Nettles was in our family for years, and was there for many of my “growing pains” as a teenager. Losing her felt like losing a sister.  We are all very sad.

Anyway, as far as our date is concerned, I think I need a little bit of time to get over this deep loss before I commit to anything. I keep praying to Jesus to remove my pain and suffering, but even when I sleep with my bible in my busoms, I still cry out in sadness.

In the blood of the lamb, RIP Nettles

RIP Nettles 1986-2010

From: Nelly Musa

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: April 4, 2010

Subject: HAPPY RESURECTION/ WELL COM BACK

I m fine and you? happy resucrection,let thank God that our lord Jesus christ has rissing from the death,he took away our sins after he was crusify on the cross of calvary for the remission of our sins,let give him all the glory i love jesus so much.
Dear you are wellcome back from your travel,its only God that knows why the poor Nestle gave up,i may say that its time is due on this earth because if not so,no matter what pressure that might arise,it will still live,let just give God the glory ok.i pray that almighty God will console you and your family for Jesus sake Aman.
I love you so much and was so much in worry for the few days i did not heard from you but i so much that God that you are back hale and hearthy.i understand  i  what you said that you will not committ to anything now untill you get yourself fully back,the God whom i serve will surelly strainthing you for christ Jesus.Please i will like you to call me through Revrend number phone number so that we hear each other voice,just call and ask and tell him that you whan to speek to Miss Nelly Musaa,he will call me immediately to speak to you,he is toonice to me.this camp is not conducive for me at all i need to live here to  join you in your country after i am done with my plan here in this country.
Thanks and remain in  you as the lord will give you srainght.
Kisses Nelly

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