Arlene Shirlee : Dear Spammer, I Love You

November 25, 2009

Leena Shirlee to Rev. Edward: “The headquarters of Akinabi/Nayaju are hard to penetrate but I think I Have found a way in.”

Filed under: Leena Shirlee — ArleneShirlee @ 7:14 pm
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2009/11/23 Rev.Edword John <rev.edword2@mail.com>

 

Dear Brethren,
In accordance to my religious persuasion, I felt expedient to write and inform you on the wicked conspiracy hatched by the duo of JUSTICE AKANBI and Mr. Naiyaju of the Ministry of Finance to divert your money to their designated account in Europe.
From my position as a lowly clerk in this office, I discovered that they moved the fund from Lagos to SPAIN and from SPAIN; they have moved it last week to Banco Italiano in ITALY. Today I found out through the Central computer database that they are about to reroute your fund to AIR COURIER  SECURITY COMPANY in London. With this, I felt that it is important for me to alert you on this development.
They are still using your name and contract/inheritance identification number as the beneficiary but they have changed the account co-ordinate, that is why they are frustrating you by asking for money every time in order for them to go behind and contact you. I have the reference number of the transaction and also I have the number of the official who is directly in charge at the AIR COURIER SECURITY COMPANY  in London. Your payment is supposed to go through the London credit control financial clearinghouse before finally Lodge  in AIR COURIER SRCURITY COMPANY in London Uk. All the data about your claim profile are within my reach. I do not need gratification from you either in cash or kind; I can never be a part of evil because the bible said YE SHALL KNOW THE TRUTH AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.
Please respect my discretion in this matter, you can send an email to me so that I can give you the reference number and the name and contact information of the officials of the AIR COURIER SECURITY COMPANY in London UK. I repeat, please do not expose my person, it is not easy to get jobs around here and I cannot contend with these powerful individuals because they can eliminate me just like that.
God bless you
Rev.Edword John

From: Leena Shirlee
To: Rev. Edward John
Date: November 24, 2009
Subject: Re: In accordance to my religious persuasion
Dear Reverend, Oh no!!! The Akanabi/Naiyaju duo is at it again!!! Just as I suspected. I have been tracking them for months with my cyber-stretch spy ear, and have been notified by my shape-shifting sidekick Baby Fudge that they are up to a dastardly scheme!! Your email has confirmed what we’ve already surmised: Akanabi/Naiyaju are planning to launch an AIRPLANE COURIER containing meatballs they’ve been smuggling out of local italian eateries. They will not stop until every single person has collapsed under the weight of tomato-slatered beef.The headquarters of Akanabi/Naiyaju  are hard to penetrate, but I think I have figured out a way in. I am glad I can count on you as an ally, my friend, together we can save the world from a greasy, garlicky end.I know that Akanabi’s only weakness is his former lover, the lovely Ukranian Ranya Svetslovknyaglovnyitsky. I have a somewhat blurry picture of Ranya taken at a nightclub some years ago and I think with enough make-up I will be able to pull off a convinceable likeness. My shapeshifting side-kick Baby Fudge will transform into a romantic box of chocolates. When Akanabi lets us in, I will make some romantic small talk with him while Baby Fudge makes her way to the “italian diner” at the top floor. I will then use my lasso-flail to pin Akanabi to the bed and then rush up to meet Baby Fudge where we will capture all the meatballs in my zapnet and carry them to a remote area to be detonated safely.

As far as Naiyaju goes, I was hoping you’d be able to give me some advice. Surely you know him better than others–what would you say his weaknesses are? Does he have, for instance, a weak left eye? How is his coordination? Does he have a low-tolerance for alcohol or peanuts?

Hope to hear from you soon,
mightily yours,
Dynama the Death Dove (and Baby Fudge)

Dynama! Justice of the Peace!

 

November 18, 2009

Mr. Domenion Audu to Leena Shirlee: “My Favorite Breakfast Food: CAfe”

From: Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: November 13, 2009

Subject: MY GOD WE BLESS YOU.

You’re invited to: MY GOD WE BLESS YOU MY FRIEND
By your host: Domenion Audu
Date: Friday November 13, 2009
Time: 4:00 pm – 5:00 pm  (GMT +00:00)
Street: ATTN;Sorry to distract your attention, I am Mr Domenion Audi, The bill and exchange manager in the Bank of Africa Ouagadougou Burkina Faso. In my department, I found the deposited fund amounted (USD15,000,000.00)that belong to a customer who died in the plan crash with his entire family. However, I shall detail you with the full information as soon as I hear from you. Can you be able and capable to assist me provide your receiving bank account where this fund will lodge in your favour, I shall give you 30% of the total sum as soon as this fund hits your account and I shall visit you in your country for the shearing. Please this is very confidential. If you are interested, please forward me the bellow information’s; (1)Your name:….. (2)Your country:……(3)Your phone Number:……(4)Your tel/fax:…. (5)Your age:….. (6)Your occupation:……….Thank for your anticipated co-peration. Your’s Faithfully. Mr Domenion Audi
Will you attend? RSVP to this invitation


From: Leena Shirlee
To: Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>
Date: November 15, 2009
Subject: I’M COMING!

Hello Mr. Dominator!

I am RSVP-ing….What would you like me to bring to your party? I am working late on that day, but I could probably scrape together some crostini, or baba ganoush? Otherwise, wine is always a good bet. Everyone loves wine.

At any rate, let me know! Looking forward to sharing the fun.

Best,
Leena


From: Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: November 14, 2009

Subject: I am awaiting for your urgent response


Dear Friend,Thank you for your urgent respond.

 

And  i will really need you to declare  me your interest in carrying out this  funds  into your account  before i entrust this transaction  in your hand.

Before I contacted you  I have studied this transaction very carefully  with my experience in the banking industries and  i know and I’m  optimistic that this business deal will uplift our financial status, it’s just for you to follow my instruction and guidelines until the fund enter your into account.

You should understand that you need  to come up with your  whole spirit with me and carryout  this transaction  till the funds are lodged into your account and costody because nobody else knows about this fund and the  information about the deceased customer is with me now. This deal will be covered with legal approvals, Like I have told you in my previous email, you will be approved officially by bank as the authentic relation (heir) of the late customer through official bank process. Which I will personally champion, your approval will further be authenticated by back up documents.

All i need is trust and honesty.

My good Friend,Honestly speaking, this procedure will cost us little money,according to how i study it,i study this project for a year and eight months before deciding to execute it,so i know it will cost us little money which i don’t know how much,but whatever be the amount,the both of us will join heads together and work for success.

I will like to have full 100% trust on you,so kindly send me your international passport or identification, with your  informations that i will use and register your name in the bank and get you the text of application form which you will fill and send to the bank for the claim, so that i can also know you in face,don’t about the expenses as that will convince the bank more that you are the true next of kin,all you have to do is to apply to the bank for the release of the fund by sending the application form to the bank,like that the bank will start contact with you.
This business is a great deal and will need determination and great arrangement to succeed.  The arrangement which has already been made is my underground responsibility in the bank in seeing that the whole process to be taken to achieve your approval and for the smooth transfer of your inheritance to your desired account is made without any conceivable hitch. That is why I will like to speak with you for better understanding before we proceed.I have attach my  personal details so that you will know who you are transacting with, and i will like you to send my yours immediately sso that i can know you inperson  before the bank will tranfer this fund in to your bank account in your country as i have promise you that i am here to mornitor this tranfer in the bank and direct you on what to do next to avoid mistake from your side.

 

Meanwhile, I would want to detail you a little on the fund to be transfered to your account. This is not a stolen money rather, a discovered abandoned money belonging to one of our late customers by name MR. RICHARD BURSON from USA who died nine years ago in a plane crash together with his entire family living behind his contract sum unclaimed in our bank.

I assure you therefore that all loopholes are covered and all obstacles removed. This business deal will never endanger any or both of us. To remind you, this transaction is not a child’s play nor a little amount involved,  We are talking of a deal worth millions of dollars and so I will not like anybody (not even you) to spoil it for me because it had taken me years to arrive at the stage before I decided to look for a foreigner to assist me. You may be afraid about the possibility of transferring such huge amount of money to you, actually, after the terrorist attack on the United States.

I will use my position in the bank and attach a transactional identifier to the payment during  the transferring  of the funds into your  account and make receiving very comfortable to you in different bits. I need to emphasise on the need for trust and confidence on both side as the pillar for the success of this business. You need to reassure me that you will not betray me and sit on this fund when it finally comes into your custody.

The understanding of this details and accepting to work with me in this deal is the starting point. I require you therefore to declare your interest to assist me in championing this transaction, I will send you a text of application which you will fill  with  bank and personal  data’s  as soon as you get back to me, you will  fill the text of application form  and send it directly to my bank fax line or email as an official introduction of your person to the bank as the heir to the deceased.

You must note that the application is not official; the bank will send you an official bank application immediately you introduce your self. My position has guaranteed success in this transaction, because i am  a member of the ADHOCH COMMITTEE MEMBERS, Meanwhile if there’s any thing you  do not understand I will wait for your call so that  we can discuss better on phone.

According to one of our banking policies which stipulate that after seven to ten years of unclaimed fund, the fund will automatically go into the treasury of our bank and that’s why I want to use you as next of kin to the deceased customer and claim out the fund.

Importantly and as I discoverd, my bank does not know that MR. RICHARD BURSON  has no next of kin which makes it more easier for you to stand in as next of kin to the deceased person. It’s only me and my colleagues who knew that MR. RICHARD BURSON  has no next of kin.

There is no risk about this for it’s 100% risk free as I will provide you with some vital documents related to the contract sum of MR. RICHARD BURSON  and a text of application which you will resend to bank fax line, introducing you as next of kin to MR. RICHARD BURSON  and also instructing the paying bank to effect the transfer of the inheritance fund of MR. RICHARD BURSON into any bank account which you will provide and submit to the bank.

With your declaration of interest and willingness to cooperate with assurance that you will not sit on this money when it gets to your account and a promise not to implicate me in this business, I will furnish you with above information.

Send me your Full Name and you address together with your ID card so that i will register your Name in the bank and get you the bank official Text of Application Form which you will fill with your banking details and send it to the bank for the release of this successful fund in to your bank account in your country where i will meet you inperson for the shearing of the total fund as soon as the bank have tranfer the fund to you.

As soon as i hear from you every informations will be forwarded to you immediately.
We need  not to exercise any sign  of delay in this transaction,   this transaction must be followed up  to avoid  bank not to suspect me  or you  after you have applied to  my bank as  the beneficiary  to this  abandon fund,  my  bank is trying to  release all foreign debts  .

I  shall be forwarding to you the TEXT OF APPLICATION  FORM you  requested as soon as i hear from you. these are your details  i need  urgently so that i can register your name in my bank first.

1. full name………………….
2. full home  address……………
3. country………………..
4. age…………….
5. nationality……………….
6. occupations……………….
7. direc phone number………….
8. A copy of  your identity…………………….
9. bank name………………………..
10. bank address……………..

You call me after read this mail ,Tel. 00226-76 05 54 44 or +226 7841 2822

i am waiting for your call soonest .


Regards.
Mr.Domenion.

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>

Date: November 16, 2009

Subject: Re: I am waiting for your urgent response

Dear Mr. Dominator, I remain your humble slave and wish to carry out your every wish. I believe you have been sent by jesus,  and that you possess the spirit of the holy ram deep within your crevasses.  I want nothing more than to unite with you to make our transaction safe, secure, and healthy.

However, I hope you understand my concerns about your validity–as you no doubt have heard, the internet is rife with scam artists,  charlatans, and spam “bots”  who are out to take advantage of wealthy people such as myself.

I am willing to proceed in any way you request, but only after you answer my security questions. Please, do not laugh, this is only to protect us both. Again, if you do not answer these quesions I will not proceed further with you.

SECURITY QUESIONS:

1: What is your favorite breakfast food, and why?
2: Have you ever worn an item of clothing meant for one part of the body (such as a shoe) on another part of the body (such as a penis, or elbow)? If not, why not?
3: What is the best piece of advice your father gave you? If you don’t have a father, simply list your favorite beatles song.

Thank you Mr. Dominator, I hope you understand why I do the things I do.

In the bloody ragu of christ,

Leena

From: Mr. Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: November 16, 2009

Subject: Call me + 226-7841-3210 immediately if you are ready so that I will look for another honest person who will follow my advice to get this fun.

My Dear,
I did not contact you to ask me some questions that is not part of this tranfer ok, i am not a man like that as you think , so if you know that you are ready to carry out this tranfer with me come out with your full spirit so that we will work as one family and get this fund in to your bank account in your country where i will meet you as soon as the bank tranfer this successful fund to you as i am here to pass you every information of the diseas custormer in the bank.
I would have done this alone do to finicial problem and suspiciouse in the bank because i do not want the bank to know that i have a hand in this tranfer since i am still working the same bank, my plane is that as soon as the fund get in to your bank account i will quickly resign and come over to your country and meet you inperson with my family to invest with you over there in your country.
So let me know if you are not ready to help me so that i will quickly look for another person that will follow my instruction utill this fund tranfer from the bank and you dont have to worry about any thing i am here to mornitor this fund as soon as you have apply in the bank so that the bank will recorgnise you for the said amount in the bank.
I have work with this bank up to 11 years now so what ever you shall need about this fund as soon as you have apply in the bank i will forward it to you to avoid you making mistake during tranfering of this fund in to your bank account.
I am waiting to hear from you because i have puting all my hope in this fund, that why i will like you to declear me your intrest in this matter so that i will know what to do next to avoid delay.
Note that time is not longer on our side to delay because that is why i told you that this fund must follow up immediately so that this fund will be tranfer before the bank start caculation in the bank as i told you earlier.
Send me your informations immediately if you are ready so that i will use the informations register your name in the bank and get you the bank official application form which you will fill according to my advice to avoid mistake in the bank because the bank you will use is where the bank will tranfer the fund to you that is why i have to direct you on how to fill the application form as soon as hear from you.
Send me the following without any delay.
1. full name………………….
2. full home  address……………
3. country………………..
4. age…………….
5. nationality……………….
6. occupations……………….
7. direc phone number………….
8. A copy of  your identity…………………….
9. bank name………………………..
10. bank address……………..
My greeting to your family.
Call me +226 7841 2822.
Mr. Domenion
From: Leena Shirlee
To: Domenion Audu
Date: November 16, 2009
Subject: Re:
Sorry Mr. Dominator, I will not be able to proceed in uniting with you in passing diseases to the customers in the bank. How do you expect me, with my millions of banknotes, to put my time into something that may actually be a scam? All I asked was that you answer my humble security questions to the best of your abilities. And yet, you mock me and refuse to do this? Well, you are asking me to take time from my tanning sessions and my jacuzzi floats to answer YOUR questions. This does not seem fair!  I only want to invest my time,and money in endeavors that are true and honest. If you were true and honest you would respect me enough to answer my security questions. They are not meant to inconvenience anyone, and they might seem to be silly, but they are there for a reason and that is to protect my valuable inheritance.Good luck to you elsewhere,
Ms. Leena

 

From: Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>
To: Leena Shirlee
Date: November 18, 2009
Subject: What is causen your delay?

My Dear,Honstly i do not know that you are seriouse about what and that yopu have a meaning about the questions that you send to me, so i have now add untersatning to that so i will say sorry.

 

So about you questions all is ok for me to know that you are the right person to transact with.

1: What is your favorite breakfast food, and why? MY FAVORITE BREAKFAST IS CAFE.

2: Have you ever worn an item of clothing meant for one part of the body (such as a shoe) on another part of the body (such as a penis, or elbow)? If not, why not? YES I HAVE WORN T.SHIRT WITH UNBRALA FOR RAIN WHEN I WAS IN UNIVERSITY LEVEL.
3: What is the best piece of advice your fathter gave you? If you don’t have a father, simply list your favorite beatles song. MY FATHER USE TO TELL ME THAT I SHOULD LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
My good brother i want to complete this transaction with you and urgenlty,but i need to know who i am trusting millions of dollars into his care,so kindly send to me the following information’s and also call me on the phone.(1)Your bank account details…………………..where the fund should be transferred SO THAT I WILL KNOW IF IT WILL BE OK FOR US TO PROVIDE FOR THE BANK FOR THE TRANFER BECAUSE I AM IN THE BANK NOT YOU I GO THROUGH THE ACCOUT DETAILS AND KNOW THE WAY WE CAN GET IT INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT EASY WAY.

 

(2) Your full name and resident address………………
(3) photograph of yours with copy of your International Passport or ID…………..
(4) Your Private phone  numbers………………………….
(5)Your full address…………………….
(6)Your age……………..
7 Your Occupation……………

I await your urgent call +226 7841 2822.
YOURS FRIEND
MR.DOMENION

 

From: Leena Shirlee
To: Domenion Audu <domenion_a30@ymail.com>
Date: November 18, 2009
Subject: Re: What is causen your delay?
Hello Mr. Dominator, my good brother I am very happy you are legitimate! I have two illegitimate brothers, and they do nothing but catch crawfish in the bay and force me to clean and gut them. They don’t even go to church! Instead they stay home on the lords day, watching steve mcqueen movies.That being said,I am providing you with the following information, so we can proceed post-haste.

 

Bank Name:

WestBank Co-Op Trust

Account # 8652 4712 3627 8926

My full (legal) Name and Address:

Leena Cracky-Jo Shirlee
715 Harrison St, San Francisco, CA, 94107.

Age: 53

Occupation: Stare-apist (a controversial new therapy involving staring at certain objects or things until an emotional breakthrough or personal victory is achieved, you should try it!)

Phone # 818-993-3466

I am including my ID as well–please forgive me, I had a terrible burn accident when I was a reckless godless teenager that left my face mostly melted off. I nearly died!  Luckily the kind people at the department of motor vehicles agreed to let me wear the face my mother knitted for me after my accident (I never leave the house without it).

All my best, my dear lamb of jesus.
Leena Shirlee

Official ID

From: Domenion Audu
To: Leena Shirlee
Date: November 19, 2009
Subject: PLEASE URGENT RESPOND

Dear Mr.Lupsa,

I thank you once again, i also thank the Almighty ALLAH that i have geting the offical application form from the bank today.

I believe you are the right person to transact with, considering the little i have seen from you. I proposed to you not only for our mutual benefit but also for a long and everlasting relationship to exist between you and I and between our children and related ones through this venture.

I want you to call me as soon as you have send the application to the bank so that i will direct on what to do next to avoid mistake from your side and not only that to keep me inform ontime so that i will mornitor the tranfer in the bank ok, i also thank you for the call you said you try to call me i think is network problem in my country so you try and call me now because calling is very inportant in this very stage now.

Open your attach file and see the bank offical application form which o got from the bank today which you will fill with your banking details where the bank will tranfer the fund to you as i am here to mornitor the tranfer in the bank.

Once again i will clear you that what ever may come up from the bank as soon as you have apply for this fund as i have directed you to fill and to the application form to the bank for the tranfer of this fund in to your bank account in your country idian, so you have to know that i contacted you to help me to have this fund in to your bank account in your country because i alone can not do it ok, so you have to help me untill this fund get in your bank account in your country where i will meet you for the shearing of the fund as soon as the fund get in to your bank account, you have to help me because i am poor that is why i want us to have this fund so that i will resign from the bank as soon as this fund get in to your bank account ok.

Well, my dear, there is nothing too much to be relayed on this business transaction as it requires dedication and incumbent support from both of us involved, for i have studied this transaction for more than one year and eight months now, and have known all that it requires. It requires secrecy and confidence, eventually in the progress of this transaction, when the Bank contacts you for minor questionings which i am going to be furnishing you with the answers on the course of this. In fact; you are going to abide strictly to my instructions so that we will not make any mistakes.

This is absolutely what it requires and nothing more as a top official in this Bank, and as a member of the Board members”, we have no problem at all as i will be monitoring the whole situation here in the Bank, while you will be monitoring the whole situation there in your country, until you confirm the money in your Account.

Immediately this is done I will then resign my appointment here with the Bank while you will now send me an invitation letter warranting me to come over to your country, for further sharing of the Fund and investment which you will help me secure under your kind advice. In fact, I would have done this deal alone, but for the fact that i am a civil servant and as civil servants here in my country, we are not allowed to operate any form of foreign account, but domiciliary or house account.

So this is the more reason I contacted you to stand in, as the true next-of-kin to the deceased customer, who will have to push the Bank to be able to effect the transfer of your late cousin’s Fund, and that delay in application was due to family logistic problem. I strongly assure you of a risk-free and hinge-free transaction, provided my instructions are strictly adhered to by you.

Also I would not fail to let you know that, we are going to work together in actualizing this objective, as you have to be aware that there are going to be some miscellaneous expenses such as transfer charges and telephone bills etc, which is normal in International Transfers of such, and which both of us are going to share equally,i.e we are going to share all expenses equally, and at the end of transaction, all expenses are going to be deducted from the 10% expense amount being mapped out from the total Fund, according to expense amounts incurred by both parties involved.

Please note that this transaction will last only but (14) Banking working days from transactional experience. At the end of the transaction, all computer and file-related information on this transaction would be deleted.

This is part of the security measures being taken to avoid any trace of the Fund in the future. I assure you of a maximum success. We will work together to legalize this deal and once it is legalized, the bank will approve it and then the money will be legally transferred to your account and the bank here will give you a clearance on inheritance that will take care of authorities in your end questioning the root of the funds.

Please note that what we are about to do needs trust and without trust there is no need to forge ahead, you are a human being and has the right to decide for yourself what is good for you and what is not. I believe you have a policy and i want you to maintain it just like me, if you are not interested, please do not force yourself but do what you think is right for you and do not be forced to do what you never wished to do.

Proposal is not a crime but love and interest with benefit also people can be friends without knowing each other through business transaction and that will only be when they are sincere to each other and work towards future benefit and friendship.

Well, the transaction is risk-free and on your side you will be maintaining absolute information and absolute secret through out the duration of the transaction, and normally you will be responding like a true next-of-kin who wish to speed up the release and transfer of his late cousin’s money.

The Bank will portray you, the benefice next-of-kin to the deceased customer and relay to you all relevant information required to put claim over the money as the procedure requires. The deceased customer died in a plane crash with his entire family in December 2003 and since then the fund has been lying in the account without anybody coming to claim the money. Based on that, I decided to make good use of the opportunity by contacting a foreign account owner who will be fronted as the next of kin to the late businessman, and have the approval signed and the money will be released and transferred into the given account.

If you agree, for nominating an account to be used for this purpose and any other assistance which you might be required to give in that regard, I will offer you the 45% of the sum and 55% .

For further information, you can kindly contact me on my private telephone number (00226-7841 2822.Recently acquired for this transaction and you can call me at anytime you feel like, so feel free to call me. I am expecting your immediate response concerning the above given information.

For your information this is not something that you have to think about because it is an opportunity to both of us and also I will advice you not to put any atom of fear in this transaction as you have no risk at all even now and in future as far as you follow my instructions.

So all you have to do now is to apply to the bank first, so that the bank can now recognize you as the next of kin to the deceased customer and also i will like you to call me so that we can discuss over this matter.

Do not forget as soon as you send the application to the bank, you try and keep me inform of what you have done.

You are advice to send the application form immedaitely with this new bank email address for easy recieve in the bank ok.

bankofafrica.ourprofile.org@mail.mnmail.mn

boa_customer_deptorg@yahoo.fr

As soon as you have fill the application form you call me immediately on my private line to keep me inform of what you have done sofar.

Thanks my regards to you and the family.
Mr.Domenion.
+226-76 05 54 44. or +226 7841 2822

 

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Domenion Audu

Date: November 20, 2009

Subject: RE: PLEASE URGENT RESPOND.

 

Who is Mr. Lupsa?! Are you sharing my personal information with more people than just you!? That would make me sad. Perhaps our everlasting relationship was never destiny, only scattered tears in the wind.


From: Domenion Audu

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: November 20, 2009

Subject: THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME/HAVE YOU SEBT THE APPLICATON TO THE BANK YET?

My Dear,
Thank you very much to keep me inform on time, so that should be a mistake from what you send to me, so here i speak french and write english, so i fine it deficut to write very well in english please consider this setuation.
Hostly, you have to know that i dont know your full name very well as you said, so i will like you to send me you full name immedtiately you have send the application form to the bank as i have directed you to fill with your banking details and send to the bank for the relaese of this fund.
So mind you that you have to do this as a matter of urgentcy to fill the application properly and send it to the bank to avoid delay, i want us to confirm this fund in to your bank account in your country where i  will meet you in your country as you have promised me that you will help me to get this fund tranfer from the bank, as i am here with the bank and if only you will do according to what you promised me.
Now have you send the application form to the bank? let me know the cause of your delay if you have not do as i ahve directed you to fill the application with your banking details and send it to the bank immediately, make sure you fill the application form with cearfulness to avoid mistake during tranfering of this fund in the bank because any bank you use to fill the application form is where the bank will tranfer the fund to you ok.
Note that we dont have time again to delay in this tranfer because i hope in this fund, that is why i told you that as soon as the bank tranfer this fund in to your account will quickly resign and come over to your country with my family in the name of ALLAH.
Please i will advice you to fill the application form immediately and sendit to the bank so that the bank will recornize you first and send it with your ID so that the bank will know you for the said amount in the bank ok.
Let me wait for your urgent call as soon you have send the application form to the bank for the claim so that i will start monotoring this tranfer in the bank and direct you on what to do to avoid mistake from your side after you have apply in the bank.
Call me immediately you have send the application to the bank please +226 7841 2822.
I am waitinh to hear from you.
Thanks and my greetins to your family.
MR.DOMENION.
From: Leena Shirlee
To: Domenion Audu
Date: November 20, 2009
Subject: RE: THAT IS WHY I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME/HAVE YOU SEBT THE APPLICATON TO THE BANK YET?
I am sorry Mr. Dominator, but I don’t think you have the attention to detail I need to proceed with this operation–if you cannot even get my name right, (and you have also called me Sir many times when you know I am a lady from my head to my breast)  how do I know other details will be handled in a businesslike manner?

On that note, I often feel you are yelling directions at me–this reminds me of my father quite a bit. When I was a child he would actually come to my school and watch me doing my maths through the little crack in the wall and yell insults at me. “No, 8X7 isn’t 43! you must have sawdust for brains!” Then when I went home and confronted him he denied it and said I must be hearing “voices” and put me on lots of medications.

At any rate, I am going to have to politely decline your offer and I hope that, Allah willing, you will find a better match.

All my love
Leena

From: Domenion Audu
To: Leena Shirlee
Date: November 20, 2009
Subject: Have you send the application to the bank yet.
Dear Friend,

My greeting to you once again, and how are you? today together with your family.

I have geard all you said so i have forgiven you, so let us be honor to each order until we have this fund in to you account.
Let me hear from you if you have send the application form to the bank as i have directed you to fill and send to the bank for recorgnition.

You have to know that we do not have time to delay in this fund, that is why i made it clear to you that this fund must follow up immediately to avoid suspicious in the bank after you have apply for thr tranfer.

Please time is not longer on our side again, i want this fund to be tranfer to your account before the bank will start anual caculation in the bank ok.


So quickely let me know what is causing your delay to send the application form to the bank? because i have intrust this fund into your hand that is why you have to let me know what you have done sofar so that i will know the kind of advice i will give to you next to avoid mistakes during tranfer of this fund in to your bank account in your country.

Please let us be honext to each order in this fund so that we will have this fund immediately with one mind ok, and let me hear from you by calling me on my telephone line +226 78 41 28 22 for more explanations in this tranfer as soon as you have send the application form to the bank.

I am waiting for your urgent call on +226 78 41 28 22.

Thanks
MR DOMENION.
00226 78 41 28 22.

Leena Shirlee to Mrs. Jenny: “Do you think Hitler was just a misunderstood architect?”

Filed under: Leena Shirlee — ArleneShirlee @ 7:00 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

 

From: Mrs. Jenny <l.jenny6061@yahoo.com.hk>

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: November 13, 2009

Subject: Mrs. Jenny

Greetings from Jenny Lee,

after going through your information over the internet i decided to contact you for friendship and assistance for distribution of my inheritance towards charity. My name is Jenny Lee; I am a dying woman who has decided to donate what I have for the good work of charity. I am 60 years old and I was diagnosed for breast cancer for about 2 years now.

I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God, rather than allow my husband evil relatives to use my husband hard earned funds ungodly. They don’t care about man kind, all they care is how to rob some money from me and spend them ungodly. Please pray that the good Lord forgives me my sins. I have asked God to forgive me and I believe he has because He is a merciful God. I will be going in for a surgery soon and I want to make sure that I make this donation before undergoing my surgery.

I decided to donate the sum of $2,500,000 (two million five hundred thousand dollars) to you for the good work of the lord, and also to help the motherless and less privilege and also for the assistance of the widows and unfortunate mothers. At the moment I cannot take any telephone calls right now due to the fact that my husband’s relatives are always around me and trying to see if they can overhear my conversations and my health status as well.

I wish you all the best and may the good Lord bless you abundantly, and please use the funds well and always extend the good work to others. I have informed my consultant about the ($2,500,000.00). it is true that I dont know you and you don’t know, but I have been directed by God to contact you for this. Thanks and God bless. I will direct you further after hearing from you.
NB: I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don’t want anything that will jeopardize my wish. Also I will be contacting with you only by email as I don’t want my husband relations or anybody to know because they are always around me.

Reply me through this my most private email: (jennetlee1@yahoo.com.hk)
Regards,
Mrs. Jenny Lee

 

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Mrs. Jenny <l.jenny6061@yahoo.com.hk>

Date: November 14, 2009

Subject: Re: Mrs. Jenny


Hello Jenny, and well met this is Leena!

I am so happy jesus sent you to my doorstep today. I have been thinking much of the good lord, about his bloody robes and his shepherds pies. Jenny,  I must confess; have been disobedient to the lords will. I have spent too much time drinking and watching game shows on television instead of doing the true good work I was meant to do.

Last year I came up with an idea to manifest the lords work in the world, and it has to do with my one love of life CHILDREN. I know it sounds cliche, but I really do believe children are our future. That is, White children.

It concerns me, Jenny,  that children these days are being brainwashed by liberal propagandas to become “tolerant” and “loving” of every yackaninny black jew or chinaman out there. Don’t you agree? I believe Genesis 24:12 says “And god created the milky flesh, and it was good. He smote the craven melatonin, and relegated them to carry sacks of wheat like donkeys to galilee.” Clearly the bible states that the white man alone was meant to evolve, and yet everywhere I go I see little colored kids playing with little white kids and I shudder that gods word has gone in vain.

Well, as I said, last year I came up with an idea to manifest the lords work; It happened when I was watching a group of children playing across the street. They were casting spells on eachother, and waving sticks around.  I asked them what they were doing they said “We’re playing harry potter.” I asked “what is that?” and they  said “It’s these books about witches and wizards!” I tell you i nearly flang myself onto a garden spike in suicidal protest for this blasphemy, but if there is one thing certain about me, it’s that I am a calm individual who breathes deeply before following my suicidal impulses.

I began to read these wicked childrens “Harry Potter”  books, and as I did, (inbetween praying and vomiting)  I began to have deep thoughts. These books have become such a part of childrens lives that now the children think they are real life!!!  So, what if I create my own series of books about a godfearing return to racial purity? Surely, you have noticed that the Ku Klux Klan also has wizards. So I created a cast of racially pure wizards who go around turning blacks, jews, and chinamens back into what they were intended for: hard labor. It’s not a book about hatred, it’s a book about morality and doing the right thing.

My book is called “Gary Trotter and the Grand Wizard.” I wrote up a book proposal and tried to shop it around, but unfortunately the liberal effete pansies decided my book was way too “racist” to publish. I thought this was a free country! Apparently not. (I even have some whimsical  talking donkeys in my story!)

At any rate, with your money Jenny I can publish my books and finally commit myself to my true path: Communicating the lords message of racial purity to impressionable youths worldwide.

Please let me know your thoughts on this matter
White is Light
and Light is Right!
WE fight the fight
Against the dark knights!
~Leena

PS-did you know the irish are actually albino blacks??

 

From: Jenny Lee <l.jenny6061@yahoo.com.hk>

To: Leena Shirlee

Date: November 14, 2009

Subject: Re: Dear Leena

Dear Leena,
Thanks for your reply, which has been received and noted.
I am truly humbled by this opportunity. I am praying for guidance and sensitivity from the Lord. I really don’t know where to start but I think telling you more about me seems the best. I was born September 2, 1948 (in Baltimore MD USA) and got married to Mr. Lee here in Tokyo Japan. I am the only child of my parents. I want you to take this project very serious and let it be confidential between us. I am presently in Tokyo Japan and will be going to the hospital soon for my surgical treatment.
I got your email from my personal search over the Internet and I decided to contact you. It is true that we do not know each other, but my spirit has chosen you and I do not know why.? I pray that you will be a good person for this humanitarian project. I would like to visit you there in your country, so that both of us will know each other very well and discuss face to face. Even though that my health situation is currently bad, I will try my best to make a trip to meet you and discuss with you. It will really be my pleasure meeting you in a round table discussion there in your country. Importantly, I would want you to send me your complete address on how to locate you there in your country.
I will continue to pray for you, so that the Lord in His infinite love and mercy will continue to take care of you in fulfilling my wish.
In Luke 24: Jesus revealed his Mission on earth to bring the good news to the poor, to set the captives free, to give sight to the blind and to free people from oppressions. In other words, to bring glad tidings to the poor. This was the mission of the Lord when He came to this earth. This is also my mission to continue the work of the Lord in bringing glad news to the poorest of the poor.
Let me tell you the main reason why I contacted you to distribute these funds, I was in a dream where I saw a guardian angel and the angel said to me, behold and pay attention to my word, he asked me can you give your most valuable treasure to unknown person? I replied NOT AT ALL.? After a while the guardian angel appeared again and gave me a revelation. The angel said that God gave him a massage for me that I should do a generous sacrifice to the Lord by donating money to some less privilege people before going for my surgery, and that is why I decided to make this donation.
My spirit directed me to contact you, but if you feel that you are not the right person to fulfill my wish, I will gladly search for the right person. I do not know you and you do not know me, but I believe that God Purposely bring both of us to serve Him through those that are in need. The word of God must be fulfilled, as long as this massage came from Him. I am not afraid as long as God is watching our innermost thoughts because he directed me to make this donation to someone unknown, as it was revealed to me through dream. Please, protect the interest of the less fortunate and love them as you love yourself. I want you to establish some profitable project to crate jobs to the less fortunate, so that this project will give an opportunity to be paying them money to earn their living. For example establish a company to do any hand made and sele those product which made from widows and widowers so you have money to pay them plus has many product to sale for tourist.
give the less fortunate children the opportunity to achieve educational field, possibly build a school and give free education to the less privilege ones. Help the widows and widowers including those that are in the hospital that could not afford money for their treatment. I believe I have enlightened you on some of the necessary things that are required of you, so you should also apply your own idea towards the successful accomplishment of this charity project.
I had a male child for my late husband, but unfortunately he died at the age of 16 as a result of illness. My husband relatives continually persuading? my husband to remarry a second wife, but my husband refused because he knew quit well that we love each other very well.. After a while my husband died out of heartbreak.
I do not have any child to inherit my wealth that is why I decided to donate it all for humanitarian projects if only you can be honest to me.. My spirit has chosen you to fulfill my wish, and I hope that you will not disappoint me now or in future.
You can invest the funds in business and profits made from the investment will be use strictly on humanitarian projects this is my desire and wish. I am also offering you 10% of the $2.5 million for your personal use, so that you will use the rest for serving the Lord through the less fortunates.
We will discuss other details when we meet one on one, as I intend to make you the manager to the humanitarian project. But I would want you to promise me one thing, which is to handle our dealings with truth and honesty.
I would want you to tell me more about yourself and your work, so as to know you better to enable mutual trust rule between us. I will try to send you my photo the moment I hear from you, so that you will identify me at the airport once I arrive to your location. I also look forward to receive your own photo, so that we will be able to identify ourselves once we meet in your country.
After meeting with you I will link you up with my legal representative, so that he will commence the transfer process.
Please, I want you to Promise me once again that you are going to fulfill my wishes.

With love and peace,
Mrs. Jenny Lee.

 

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Jenny Lee <l.jenny6061@yahoo.com.hk>

Date: November 15, 2009

Subject: Re: Dear Leena


Hi there Mrs. Jenny, and blessed be the lamb in the bloody rags of christ!

I am humbly moved that your guardian angel spoke to you and told you to contact me, that is an incredible story! I wish I could trade my guardian angel for yours, lol! It always encourages me to do things I would rather not do, like for instance, giving a crippled one of my seats on the bus. God made us all equal! If you recall, in ecclesiastes 14:14 it said “do not suffer the cripples, for they are your blood and their rivers run to the same sea as us all.”

I am glad you agree with me about racial purity, you know it is hard for me to make friends sometimes? I tried to go to an Aryan nation meeting and they seemed so stuffy! And also full of hatred! Not at all like the people I would like to burn crosses with. I don’t HATE the black, jew, and chinamans, I just think they need to take their rightful place amongst the beasts of burden which is what they were intended for, and then we will all live in PEAS AND HARMONY (lol!)

That being said, I hope yhou understand that, considering that we are dealing with a VERY large sum of money here, I have my hesitations making any kind of transaction with you, a total stranger…. Even if your guardian angel said it, how should I trust it? In fact, looking at your letter it resembles a “spam bot” letter I received from another woman a few weeks ago with a different name (Her name was Mother Faith Williams, do you know her?) Now, you seem to be much more legitimate than her, but how can I know for sure? I must take the proper precautions to make sure I am dealing with real people, I hope you understand. And that is why I have developed a few SECURITY QUESTIONS for you to answer. I know you are sick and this  will be difficult, but please answer them and I will go ahead and provide you with any further information you request.

SECURITY QUESTIONS:

1: Which race of people do you think has the smallest brain? (i.e. Japanese, Black, Irish, etc)

2: When the lord said “Heavens jaw remains open for white glory” what do you think he meant?

3: Do you think Hitler was just a misunderstood architect?

Thank you Mrs. Jenny, I do apologize if you are inconvenienced in any way, I just need to do these things to protect BOTH OF US from the undesirable miscrants out there, lol! BTW, what race are you? I am proud to say I am 100percent german.

Blessed be the pale,
Leena



 

November 13, 2009

Allistair Goldheart to Pegeen: “I like to mix erotica with advanced mathematical concepts like Hypernical Splits and Logothrusts.”

Filed under: Allistair Goldheart — ArleneShirlee @ 4:32 am
Tags: , ,

From: Norah Robinson <norahrobinson98104@yahoo.com>
To: allistairgoldheart@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue, November 10, 2009 4:04:46 AM
Subject: Meetup?

Helloo I go by the name Pegeen

I am truly hoping to possibly setting up a meet up in Sfbay. I wonder if you might be literally the same type of chap I immediately like.

I am 19 1/2 years old, just out of music school and not aroused in anything severe, just a playful buddy :). Here is a latest image of me attached.

You can see all my info and a lots of pictures on this date site I am part of. Few of them will show some individual parts :D.

Here is the date site I am talking abt http://www.ic-date.com

After you sign up, go to the search and type in: debb949 (that’s my username  there)
If you like me, please drop me a message there :D. call me soon as you get my # on here..

wish to find out from you asap!

Pegeen


Hi Foxy Pegeen!

I am overjoyed to receive your email. I’ve been having rotten luck dating, lately! To be truthful, all I have been getting are emails from flabby old nanny goats who want me to be their next husband or something! NO way, hosay! They can march those droopy gams all the way to the tear factory to cry the world a river.

Older women can be so bitter,  and greedy too, but you, Pegeen…..you are like a fresh young whippoorwill, dancing nimbly on the heathers of youthhood. (I wrote that just for you because your hair looks like it would smell of fresh heather)

A little about me, I am divorced, 55, and have written a few books you may have heard of “Mining for Love” (a guide for dating rich men)  “Love investments” (a guide for keeping your rich man happy) and “Mutual Bonding” (a lovemaking guide for pleasuring your rich man). After taking a long hiatus in asia (where I learned the secrets of the crimson yam), I have begun writing again, this time a book of poeetry called “2X Gold” it’s kind of experimental! I mix erotica with advanced mathematical concepts, such as Hypernical Splits and Logothrusts. (math can be very sexy, most people don’t realize this!)

Well, I hope I am not being too forward, but i have to admit you look like you have very supple sexual organs. I hope you’re doing your kegel excercises! If you don’t, you’ll get a lapsed vulva (this happened to my grandmother, and it’s all she talks about, ugh!.)

I am glad to hear you are not aroused in anything severe!! (There’s lots of distasteful sites out there, displaying women in bondage, or worse, being gang-raped! I cannot believe it). I agree with you, the best kinds of lovemaking is the “non severe” kind where two spirits of fire unite and call the crimson yam to bring them to ecstasy.

I hope to hear from you soon, foxy!
~~Allistair

Allistair Goldheart to Gift Jenny Scott: “Your passion is alive, and it clutches my throat like a gentle assasin wearing velvet gloves. “

Filed under: Allistair Goldheart — ArleneShirlee @ 4:22 am
Tags: , , , , ,

 

From: Gift Jenny Scott <lovinggift00@yahoo.com>
Subject: Friendship Invitation
To: allistairgoldheart@yahoo.com
Date: Tuesday, November 3, 2009, 8:13 AM

Good Afternoon,
How are you doing today,i hope all is well with you over there..i hope my mail finds you in a very good mood just as your mail also find me in a very good mood,My full name is Gift Jenny Scott,I know you believe that good things come to those who wait, but my wonder is ..Well i just saw your email as i was going through yahoo people search then i just taught that i should send me a mail so we could know more about each other more better… why does it take so long for those good things to arrive, and why does the wait have to come with all these obstacles of hard and testing times?,let me tell u a little about my self i am 30 years From United State  single , don’t have kids never married before and have no  kids but was ones in a relationship that never went well,Well i want you to understand that why i left the state was not my Fault if that my Dad was still alive i will still be in the state and life would have not be the way it is right now for me and my mum… i  work with an international orphanage home a charity organization that is Affiliated to UNICEF here we work in all around the world helping the homeless kids mostly Orphans  we help the less villager kids out of the street and  give them good life and upbringing and orphans, Right now i am in United Kingdom, London , cos my Mom is from the UK  and my Father is  from the  United State when i was three i lost My  Father  so me and my Mom just have to come back to United Kingdom cos life was not good for us there any more and that is why i am here today where we are helping the homeless kids and we are going all around the world to do this , but i live parnently here in the UK , i think i really have a great passion for kids and that is why i am working with them, i help as a Volunteer Teacher and Nurse cos i have a Degree in Nursing i am an RN Nurse,  I Teach and take care of  kids from the ages of 5/10 as a Volunteer Teach and Nurse in any Orphanage home that we visit.    I am a very Down to Earth Lady , caring kind and Romantic Lady, i love to travel have fun and meet new people , i love Sports and i love to be in a very good Shape,and i have a very good and high sex drive i love to try New Things and be happy.

I Never believed in online dating just not been treated well with the men I have met locally so thought I give it a go and see how things work out. Though I am not trying to play hard to get wouldn’t want to rush things up as they say once beaten twice shy. I guess we take our time, till we both have the feelings to move forward.
I am a romantic person and I do believe in love and I believe that there is a special person out there for everyone in this world. I sometimes feel that each one of us is born with a bit of their heart or a bit of there soul missing, and that each one of us searches long time for that piece of their heart or piece of their soul that is missing, and that we do not know peace, happiness or true contentment until we find that person that has a match for our heart and soul … I do believe that I will find her one day, and I know we will live together happily forever .I am serious good mannered and have good sense of humor, I知 Smart, Confident, Romantic, Responsible, Kind, Gentle, Supportive, Cheerful, romantic ,poetic I love going to the Cinema, Shopping, Beaches, Parks, Trekking in hills, Meeting with friends, gardening and most especially spend time together with my soul mate. All I’m missing is a good hearten and honest partner, who is willing to stay with me and share all my Joy, Sorrows and Happiness someone who is clever and fun to be with, passionate and open for new experiences.

I think what i want in my life right now is some one that has so much energy that can give me the best of Love making love and  try new thing and go on a very good adventure and that is while i am on that site i don’t care where the person is from i just want to meet some one that we can make our dream and Happiness. Phantasy’s come to reality so tell me about ur self and what u are looking lets see how we can meet and have some good time .   I will have to stop here now and i will be waiting for ur reply.Hope to read from you soon..
Take care

Gift Cares!!!!


From: Allistairgoldheart@yahoo.com
To: Lovinggift00@yahoo.com
Date: November 1, 2009
Subject: Re: Friendship invitation

Hello Foxy!

Allow me to introduce myself–my name is Allistair Goldheart. You may have heard of me through one of the books I’ve written: Mining for Love, Love Investments, or Mutual Bonding?  They are all books on how to love rich men! (You can buy the box set on amazon for $49.00)

You sure talk a pretty game, and seem to be a well-balanced and lively lady.  Not at all like my wife who recently left me–her main passion in life was buying shoes on Ebay. Did you know she had over 300 pairs of Ugg boots? Somehow I sense you are the type of woman who would own just one simple pair of pumps, and wear them until they fall off of her feet. Then, you would go to the local cobbler (probably a kind and/or mentally retarded old man) and ask him to carve you up a brand new pair of shoes and you would step into the world as a new woman. (I sound like I should be writing for commercials, don’t I?!)

I understand what you mean, about being mauled by orphans.  Back in 1985 some quote unquote “kids of mine” decided to track me down while I was in the middle of a very important lecture at Penn State University. They claimed that I was their father, but when I asked them to wait to speak with me  until after my lecture they picked up some antipasti from the buffet table and threw it right at my face! No child of mine would behave so rudely, I tell you. And nothing stings worse than a cornichon in the eye.

So, um, I don’t know how to broach this subject but since  I believe in radical honesty so I’m just going to come out and say it: I have a very large penis. I am not saying this to brag, but only to let you know because some women have found it to be a hindrance and/or painful while making love with me. However, let me reassure you that there are several positions we can try that, given my girth and length, will make you scream howdy jesus. I spent a considerable time in the orient, studying various tantric techniques, and trust me I know to “unfold the lotus.”  I know it sounds like I’m rushing things but I can’t help how undeniably turned on you’ve made me with your note. Your passion is alive, and it clutches my throat like a gentle assasin wearing velvet gloves.

Well, I look forward to hearing more from you, my dear Gift! (Is that your real name seriously??) Perhaps we can go trekking sometime soon, or if you want to get to know me via emails, I am open to exploring that too. As I said, I am recently divorced so no marraige for me right now! Still, you have me quite taken, my dear.

Sweet dreams!
Allistair

Introducing our newest Spamfighter: Allistair Goldheart!

Filed under: Allistair Goldheart — ArleneShirlee @ 4:03 am
Tags: ,

Hola, everyone! Well it seems the more spammer love letters I publish online, the more I am approached by people who share the same filthy habit I do.  Meet Allistair Goldheart. He wrote several self-help books in the late 70’s on how to date rich men, got married to one of his golddiggers, and now is recently divorced and yes, ladies so very SINGLE!! He loves to write steamy letters to porn spambots, but lacks the courage to actually put himself on match.com so if you feel so inspired, drop him a line at allistairgoldheart@yahoo.com and tell him all about your boobcam!

I hope Allistair will be a regular poster here at “Dear Spammer I love You.”

Loveinvestments

Hello Foxies!!!

November 12, 2009

Leena Shirlee to Timothy Bruce: “In one corner of the kitchen there seemed to be an ovoid slab of meat the cooks were slicing and placing on platters.”

From: Timothy Bruce <shoppersguidetb@gmail.com>
To: Leena Shirlee
Date: November 1, 2009
Subject: Re: MYSTERY SHOPPER NEEDED

Dear Leena,

Well you can your mystery shopping job by providing this following information’s

Name in full
Mailing address
Telephone number.

Tim bruce.


From: Leena Shirlee
To: Timothy Bruce <shoppersguidetb@gmail.com>
Date: November 1, 2009
Subject: Re: MYSTERY SHOPPER NEEDED


Hi! Yipee!

My name is Leena Shirlee

My address is 715 Harrison St/San Francisco/CA/94107.

Unfortunately, since the burn accident I mentioned in my last letter, I lost a considerable amount of hearing and cannot use the telephone. I communicate by lip reading, and ASL mostly, but recently I have learned to tap into people’s thoughtwaves. If you’ve ever seen Wim Wenders “Wings of Desire” it’s kind of like that, but as anyone will tell you, I’m no angel, lol!

Could you tell me which costume you’d like me to wear for my first assignment, so I can make sure it’s pressed and laundered?

Thanks again, and can’t wait to start my MYSTERIOUS SHOPPING! MWA WA WA!
Best,

Leena

 

From: Timothy Bruce <shoppersguidetb@gmail.com>
To: Leena Shirlee
Date: November 2, 2009
Subject: MORE DETAILS

 

Hello Mystery Shopper,

Thanks for your interest in working for this great company,your
details as been received and has been forwarded to our Administrative
department for proper screening and documentation.

Your first  assignment to test your speedy processing of the funds and
your work agility in our company would take place in the next 48
hrs,you are entitled to $300 deduction from  the funds when it arrives
and you will be receiving this Amount Twice a week making the total of
$600 per week.The funds as been sent to the address above and i would
email you a tracking number before the end of the day.I want to use
this medium to welcome you on Board ,a letter of appointment  and job
details will be communicated to you shortly. Once again welcome on
board.

Do confirm the receipt of this message,have a great day.

Best Regards,

Timothy Bruce

From: Timothy Bruce <shoppersguidetb@gmail.com>
To: Leena Shirlee
Date: November 2, 2009
Subject: PAYMENT DELIVERY

 

Payment would be  delivered to you  via FedEx today  please email me
immediately to acknowledge receipt of the payment.

This  first  assignment is to test your speedy processing of the funds
and your work agility in our company,you are entitled to $300
deduction from  the funds that arrived  and you will be receiving this
Amount Twice a week making the total of $600 per week.

The amount on the Check will cover the project bills and also your
weekly wages,and the run around for your assignment,kindly proceed to
your bank and cash the funds today ,you are entitled to $300 of the
funds and you are to remit the Balance of the funds to our next
mystery shopper today.

IMPORTANT: THE PAYMENT  IS BRANDED BY OUR BURSARY DEPARTMENT AND WILL
BE CASHED INSTANTLY IN YOUR BANK OR NEXT DAY DEPOSIT.

When the funds is available,you have to deduct $300 and the balance
remainder of the money will be used for your assignment which is
stated below,adhere to the instructions as they are and ask questions
if you find anything confusing.

EXPLANATION ON WHAT YOU NEED TO DO WITH THE BALANCE OF THE FUNDS/IN
YOUR FIRST SHOPPING EXPERIENCE.

Our Finance department has just established a new local and
international money transfer system, a  payment credit company in
Australia and we are eager to begin operations to the general public
here in the states.

The system is called i-cash. We need your services as a mystery
shopper to check out other stores which offer similar services and get
us as much information on them as possible.

For easier process, we recommend you to Visit any WESTERN UNION OUTLET
Nearer to you for your first assignment;you have to visit the  store
and observe their services,you will also transact with them with the
balance of the funds.You will have to make a transfer with the balance
of the Funds from the outlet you wish and Kinldy note the Name of the
Western Unio Outlet for record Purposes

As a secret shopper,you should go there and study how their operations
work while using their money transfer system.

You will test their local and foreign immediate transfer service which
means you will make a transfer at the above store in your location.

The cost of sending the  transfer will be deducted from the amount of
money you are sending.

You will observe how long it takes for them to attend to you, how many
people work on the transfer system, etc.

We cannot state all you need to find out but we can only hint you on
the type of information we need and your future position with this
company will depend on your creativity and your ability to get the job
done in good time.

We do not appreciate delay of assignments for any reason and such may
severely affect your chances of being offered a permanent position in
our company.

Here are the information of the next mystery shopper that you will
bemaking the transfer to,the funds is needed for her assignment, the
funds must be transferred at any western union  location you wish to
Handle,have the funds sent to the name and address below.

NAME:    Sandy VandeVelde
ADDRESS:       251 Carlton Dr
CITY:                    North Olmsted
STATE:                  OH
ZIP CODE:             44070
COUNTRY:            U.S.A

Here is a hint of the type of information we will need from you

-Procedure of attendance:

-How many attendants were at the outlet:

-How many minutes it took for them to attend to you and process transfer:

-Information that you think would be helpful

-Your comments and impressions.

As a secret shopper your job is to observe anything useful going on in
the outlet.

Make sure you observe everything you see in there because you may be
asked some other questions when you return.

You have to ensure that the funds is transferred via western union
money transfer.

Please try as much to be discrete when doing your work as a mystery
shopper,and also make sure that you submit your observational report
at appropriate time.

Also to further finalize this Assignment, you have to get back to us
with the below western union transfer information for the money you
sent to the mystery shopper:

1. Senders Name and Address

2. 10 Digit Money Transfer Control Number {M.T.C.N}

3. The amount transferred after deducting western union charges.

This project shouldn’t take you more than a couple of hours to
execute,we appreciate the  timely submission of your report,that is
the essence of the $300 deduction from the total funds.

We can also determine your efficiency and the commitment you show
towards working with us,this will be seriously considered when
reviewing your position to permanent worker in our company,where u can
earn larger amount of money.

Do get back to me with the detailed reports, including breakdown of
expenses, time spent on your activities and transfer information.

Looking forward to working with you on this project and remember to
pretend to be a client who wants to send money so they won’t detect
that you are a secret shopper.

Should you have any other questions or need more Instructions as to
your first assignment, send me an email for further details.

Kindly email me as soon as you get this message. I hope to hear from you today.

Kind Regards
Timothy Bruce.

 

From: Leena Shirlee
To: Timothy Bruce <shoppersguidetb@gmail.com>
Date: November 11, 2009
Subject: Re: CHEVY’S REPORT



Hi there, Bruce! I have completed the assignment you’ve given me. I hope you find my report satisfactory! I wore my Undercover Mother outfit as not to arouse fear in the staff or customers, due to my hideously disfigured body.Please let me know if there are any further details you need!

Report on Chevy’s Restaurant #6202 in Lafayette, CA.

Date & Time: November 11, 2009, 2:13 PM.

Server: Maddie G.

Manager: Ursula Jiminez

Overall Ambiance: The restaurant, and bathroom facilities seemed to be in general good working order. No roaches were found, although my glass of water seemed to have a speck of something floating in it. Upon closer inspection, it was only a poppy seed and easily removed.

2:15 PM: Maddie G. brought me a menu and some chips and salsa. She informed me that the special of the day was “Taste of Chevys” a sampler platter consisting of enchilada, chili relleno, and taco. She assured me there would be no flaming fajitas in this dish, and so I went ahead and ordered it, along with a Diet Coke.

2:20 PM: A strange man came to refill my chips and salsa (I must have been hungry!) , but he smiled at me kindly and I took no further notes. I saw no nametag.

2:21: Maddie G brought me my diet coke and asked me if I was doing okay. I noticed she looked at me in an odd way, but I am used to this because of my disfigurement, so I said “yes, I am okay. I am just worried about my oldest son, he’s trying out for soccer today and if he doesn’t make the team he will be so upset.” Maddie G responded by bragging  about her daughter who just advanced to the gymnastics finals. I felt she did not commiserate with me as well as she could, about my son. (Of course, I have no son, I was just playing the part). Later I realized that I had a large blob of salsa stuck to part of my mask, and that is probably why she looked at me strangely.

2:27: The strange man came back to refill my water–I asked him his name, he said “Raoul.” I asked him how long he’d been working at Chevy’s and he said “A long time” and then scurried away. Strange!

2:28 I am stilL waiting for my taste of Chevy’s to arrive!!!  eating more complimentary chips and salsa. The diet coke is starting to make me anxious! I begin tearing my napkin into small pieces, which is a nervous habit from grade school. I notice a small stain on the floor, near the entrance. The cooks are speaking loudly in mexican, and laughing insanely.

2:30 My taste of Chevy’s finally arrives! Maddie G apologized for the delay, and said they are short-staffed in the kitchen. (It sure sounded to me like there were plenty of people in there!) She brings me another diet coke on the house-nice!

2:40
I have now finished my Taste of Chevy’s and I have to admit, it wasn’t very good! I ordered the pork enchilada, beef taco, and chicken bravo chiquladores. All three tasted nearly identical. How is this possible seeing as they are different kinds of meat? I decided I must investigate this further, so I got up and went to the bathroom (I really did have to go after two diet cokes!) On my way back to my table, I decided to hang a left and sneak a peak in the kitchen. It was hard to really tell what was happening, there were so many pots and pans and bowls. However, in one corner there seemed to be a large ovoid-shape of meat that the cooks were shaving off and placing on platters. Kind of like gyro-meat if you’ve ever seen one being made, but much larger and unattached to any sort of serving rod or plank. Just a big slab of brown gristle in the back of the kitchen. I tried to sneak in closer, but one of the cooks noticed me and I grew fearful and ran away.

2:45 I noticed Maddie G charged me for refills on the diet coke! She said the free-refills policy is only after two refills. But I ask you, who can drink more than two 16 oz glasses of diet coke?? Ridiculous. This policy might need further investigation/action.

OVERALL RESULTS:

I found the customer service to be fair to good at this restaurant. Maddie was pleasant, (though I was put off by her bragging about her daughter) and the chips/salsa man Raoul seemed nice enough (yet timid but maybe he didn’t speak english well)???  The large meat ovoid in the kitchen might need to be investigated–what the heck kind of meat is it? Is it the same meat used for my chicken, pork, and beef dishes? If so, why? Small stain needs to be cleaned up, and drinks refill policy is ridiculous but overall, I found the whole dining experience to be a non-event. I certainly wouldn’t recommend firing any of the staff, as was implied by your email.

The bill came to $18.34 and with tip it was $23.00 total. (I think you said we get reimbursed for this??)

This was fun! Let me know what my assignment is, and when I should expect my payment. Also, I have a down-and-out unemployed friend who might be interested in these assignments, do you think it would be okay to pass along your information to her?

Cheers,
Leena

tasteofchevys

Aribba! Aribba!

November 6, 2009

Leena Shirlee to Edward Rosen: “I do humbly accept your job offer as seamstress at H&M Fabrics”

Filed under: Leena Shirlee — ArleneShirlee @ 7:38 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,
2009/11/4 Edward Rosen <camped@campedwards.org>

Edward Rosen, Managing director
H&M FABRICS
Office address: 21 circle road,
Victoria city, Accra, Ghana

Hello Sir/Madam,

H&M FABRICS is in search of a bookkeeper/company representative in the United States, Canada and the UK. This project has Been developed in a way not to affect your present job nor bring you any form of stress but in order to help take care of those Extra costs while you work for us.

H&M FABRICS is a company that deals in the production and supplies of Batik, Assorted African fabrics, various clothing Materials, African art materials and all kinds of furniture’s for exporting to the world. Presently our website is under Construction and should be ready soon. Recently It came to my knowledge that there are a lot of lapses in handling funds coming from our clients in the US, Canada and UK which come in forms of Cashiers checks, Company checks and Money Orders which are not readily cashable outside the United States, Canada and UK,….So we need someone in the US, Canada and UK to work as our representatives and assist us in processing the payments from our various clients which come in on a weekly, monthly and annual basis. This is why we decided to employ a representative over in the US, Canada and europe to help us receive our payments at your contact address you shall be providing us, in order to process our payment from our clients. All you need to do is receive these payments from our clients in country. Get it deposited at your bank for 24hours, Cash it after 24hours then deduct your percentage (10% of each payment) plus transfer charges and forward the balance funds to one of company’s representatives via Western Union.

Our payments will be issued out in your name as we would inform our clients to do. Therefore the following details would be Needed: I would require you to send me an email with the following details

1) Your Full name:…..
2) Your Address:….
3) Your Phone number
4) Your Age:….
5) Your Occupation:…
6)Active Email Address….
7)Bank Name……
8) Are You a Property Owner?
9) Do you Have Home/Business Equity Line Of Credit Account?
10) Home/Business Equity Line Of Credit Account Limit

We would forward these information’s to our clients and they will start making payments to you as the company’s representative in the states, Canada or UK.
Once we have all your details in our records,. We would notify you as soon as we confirm that one of our clients is mailing Payment across to you.

Please note we have security experts, who work in hand with the FBI & IRS to detect the validity of the details you provide us, Should there be foul play.
I hope to read from you soon.

Warmest Regards,

Edward Rosen,
Managing director
H&M FABRICS
Office address: 21 circle road,
Victoria city, Accra, Ghana

 

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Edward Rosen <camped@campedwards.org>

Date: November 5, 2009

Subject:Re: Employment Offers


Hello, Mr. Rosen, and well met this is Leena!

I can’t tell you what a relief it is to get your email–I have been unemployed for nearly a year now and was dangerously close to throwing myself out the window out of useless despair when your email appeared like an angel in a cloud of glitter!

In other words, I do humbly accept your job offer as seamstress at H&M Fabrics. Though you didn’t ask for work samples, I will send you a few pictures of my “creations” –I hope you’ll be able to sense the hard work and artistry I am capable of.  (Please, I hope you are not offended by them, they are only costumes and meant for fun only).

I have been working endless pointless office jobs my whole life, but the truth is, I only feel truly alive when I am at my sewing machine!!!. All the cares of the world disappear, and I become one with the fabric while the machine whirs it’s lullaby to me. I am especially good with linen, and chenille. Infact, if I have children (the doctor says I have bum eggs) I will name them Linen Christoff (if it’s a boy) and Chenille May (If it’s a girl!).


Please let me know if you would like me to come in for a formal sit-down interview, or if you would like more samples of my work.

Throwing myself out the window no more and stepping into the glory of personal victory!!!! Thank you Mr. Rosen, you are a godsend!!
Leena

Dans La Restrikt

 

 

 

costume2

Believe it or not, this is a special linen from Thailand!!

Leena Shirlee to Elisabeth Mayer: “the metal gnomes didn’t seem to notice so I advanced to level 5 and gained the ukelele of immunity!!”

Filed under: Leena Shirlee — ArleneShirlee @ 6:24 pm
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
On Sat, Oct 31, 2009 at 6:58 AM, BRITISH CANADIAN LOTTERY BC-49 <info@bcl.org> wrote:

 

BRITISH CANADIAN LOTTERY BC-49,
70 Foster Drive, Suite 800, Sault Ste.
Marie, Ontario, P6A 6V2, Canada.
Winning No: 1 2 11 32 36 39
Bonus No: 12

Ref No: IMP/73253CA/2009
Batch No: 642376/CA/2009.

FINAL NOTIFICATION!!
The Canadian Government in collaboration with the British Government and the
World Gaming Bard are the sponsors of this online email lottery for
compensation and grant for both past lottery winners and the entire world
public for purpose of Infrastructural development as an online compensation
for all internet users.

We happily announce to you the draw of the Special Global 2009 Promotional
Draw held on the October 26, 2009 in Manchester in the United Kingdom and
Ontario Canada. Your e-mail address attached to REF No; IMP/73253CA/2009,
with Batch No: 642376/CA/2009 drew the Winning No: 1 2 11 32 36 39 Bonus No:
12 for BC-49 Lotto under the choice of the lottery in the 1st category of bi-
weekly six.

All participants were selected randomly from World Wide Web site through
computer draws system and extracted from over 10,000,000 companies and
personal e-mails. So your email is your online automatic ticket that
qualified you for this draw.
You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 520,000.00 GBP (Five
Hundred and Twenty Thousand Pounds Sterling)

In view of this, your 520,000.00 GBP (Five Hundred and Twenty Thousand Pounds
Sterling) would be released to you by following the directives of the courier
company. Our London- UK courier will immediately commence the process to
facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact the office. So
you are required to forward the following details to our trusted courier
company to help facilitate the processing of your claims:

You are to contact the Dynamic Parcel Delivery Company for payment with
details below:
Contact Person: David Moree.
Courier Name: Dynamic Parcel Delivery Company
Email: dpdcouriercompany1@national-champs.com
Tel: +44 7035 925434, + 44 704 570 5126, +44 702 401 2805.

PAYMENT PROCESSING FORM:
(1) FULL NAME:
(2) FULL ADDRESS:
(3) AGE/SEX
(4) OCCUPATION:
(5) TELEPHONE NUMBER:
(6) TOTAL AMOUNT WON:
(7) BATCH NUMBER AS LISTED ABOVE:
(8) BONUS NUMBERS:
(9) YOUR WINNING NUMBERS:
(10) COUNTRY:

*Winners are advised to keep their winning details/information from the
public to avoid fraudulent claim (IMPORTANT) pending the prize claim by
Winner.

Congratulation!!

Sincerely,
Elisabeth Mayer (Mrs.)
Lottery Controller General
BC-49 Lottery.

From: Leena Shirlee

To: Elisabeth Mayer <info@bcl.org>

Date: November 3rd, 2009

Subject: Re: CONFORM!!!!


Hello, British Canadian Lottery and well met this is Leena!

I have been playing the World Bard Game for quite sometime now  (about 5 years on and off, but now that I am unemployed it’s all I’ve been doing) and have been waiting for the day when I reach level 20 (the tantric jazz king!) and win!!!!  however now that I have won, I just dont’ feel right about accepting my money!! Is that weird? Call it fear of success, or what have you but I am frightened of what such a large sum  of money would do to me, like….The real me. The me on the outside would love to take the money and spend it on marvellous things like a ferrari or a hitachi inside button massager. I would also  like to pay a visit to my ailing grandmother in greece, and pay back all the people I loaned money from while I sat at home eating dinty moore stew and playing the World Bard Game.

HOWEVER the inside me, the me under the middle me (which is ambivalent about the whole ordeal) but ABOVE the core-me (which is always burning, hot, and hateful)  feels wrong about taking the money.

Quite simply, because I have cheated.

So, you know that part of the World Bard Game on level 4 where you have to sing a song of sixpence to release the princess from the dungeon? For whatever reason, maybe I was drunk or whatever, I (As my centaur character Harlequin GoldTrotter)  sang a song of FIVE-PENCE…..  but the metal gnomes didn’t seem to notice so I went right in and snagged the princess, advancing to level 5 immediately and gaining the ukelele of immunity!!!

I went on playing the game, advancing levels; In my bluegrass zombie battle, I won an amazing steel-string bayonet banjo, and after a lengthy dirge in a minor key I found the singing glitter dwarves in an enclave. Quite simply put, I kicked effing ass. But late at night my feelings of guilt began to grow–for had I sang a song of SIXPENCE originally, I might not have advanced as far as I have.

I am sorry but I don’t think I can accept your award. It should go to a more worthy player, someone who doesn’t cheat or lie their way through the world bard game as I did.

If you can think of one good reason why I am wrong, please tell me now.

Trust in the Bard, Sing Strong, Sing Long!!
Leena (The Harlequin GoldTrotter)

goldencentaur

Harlequin GoldTrotter

BEULAH BIJOUX TO HARRISON KARN: “IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME SAY IT I DONT’ WANT NO RATFINK LAWYERS INTERCEDING IN OUR BUSINESS”

Filed under: Beulah Bijoux — ArleneShirlee @ 5:06 pm
Tags: , , , , , , ,

— On Wed, 11/4/09, FirstBank Info <firstbanknig@zoho.com> wrote:

From: FirstBank Info <firstbanknig@zoho.com>
Subject: The details of the Attorney
To: beulahbijoux@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 6:13 AM

FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA PLC

Truly the first

Corporate Headquarters:

HEAD OFFICE: SAMUEL ASABIA HOUSE,

No. 35 MARINA LAGOS

Direct Tel: +234-80559-11132, FAX: +234-70684-49701

Our Ref: FBNP/X-XI/2009

Date: 04/11/2009

Attention: Beulah Bijoux,

Based on the picture you painted and irrespective of my resolved to help you, I do not think that we can handle the situation over here. So I suggest you make use of an attorney to do the signing for you. Please, contact the attorney whose details are stated below:-

Name: Barrister Charles Eke (SAN)

Name of the legal firm: Eligwe Chambers

Address: No. 23 Collins Avenue , Victoria Island , Lagos Nigeria

Telephone No: +234- 8027519939

Email: eligwechambers@gmx.de or eligwechambers@lawyer.com

He is a very good and dedicated lawyer, he is also God fearing. I know that he can make the difference for you. Do remember that you are not to pay for his legal fees until you confirm your payment with your bankers.

However, shall provide for the administrative fees, e.g. the stamp-duty of the Payment Release Order and the Certificate of Payment, as he shall not finance your transaction; attorneys are prohibited by law against it.

Instruct him to prepare to be in my office between Fridays, 6th of November to Friday, 13th of November 2009, with your file reference number: FBNP/X-XI/NGV/2009, for the signing of your payment documents.

Thanks, as I expect to hear from you introducing the attorney as your official representative.

Best Regards,

Harrison KARN

Director, Foreign Payment Dept

First Bank of Nigeria PLC

From: Beulah Bijoux <beulahbijoux@yahoo.com>

To: Harrison Karn <firstbanknig@zoho.com>

Date: November 5th, 2009

Subject: Re: The Details of the Attorney”

DEAR MR. NIGERIA, THIS IS BEULAH BIJOUX, NOW I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN WOMAN AND RARELY TAKE THE LORDS NAME IN VAIN BUT WHAT IN THE CRAP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WITH LAWYERS? I THOUGHT YOU WERE BUYING ME A TICKET TO FLY TO NIGERIA, AND I WAS BUSY PACKING MY BAGS AND NOW YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT LAWYERS? I HAVE NOTHING BUT BAD ASSOCIATIONS WITH LAWYERS. LAWYERS ARE THE REASON MY SISTERS EX HUSBAND (WHO ATTEMPTED TO CHOKE HER WITH A TURKEY LEG ONE THANKSGIVING) RUNS FREE IN THE WORLD, AND LAWYERS ARE WHY MY GRANDDADDY LOST HIS ESTATES AND WAS SENT TO AN INSTITUTION WHERE THEY LEFT HIM IN A CORNER DROOLING UNTIL HE DIED A LONELY BROKEN MAN.

I SUPPOSE IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT MY LATE HUSBAND ALSO DID NOT TRUST LAWYERS INFACT HE HAD A JOKE HE TOLD  THAT GOES LIKE THIS–“A LAWYER, A MONKEY, AND SANTA CLAUS WERE IN HEAVEN WAITING AT THE PEARLY GATES. GOD LOOKED AT THE MONKEY AND SAID YOU WERE NICE, YOU NEVER BIT NOBODY, NOW GO TO HEAVEN.”  HE LOOKED AT SANTA AND SAID “YOU WERE NICE, YOU NEVER DIDDLED NO KIDS AND YOU STAYED FAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE, NOW GO TO HEAVEN.” HE LOOKED AT THE  LAWYER, AND SAID “YOU TOOK A WRONG TURN BUDDY, GO CHECK YOUR MAP.”

IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME, THEN SAY IT TO ME, I DO NOT WANT NO RATFINK LAWYERS INTERCEDING IN OUR BUSINESS AFFAIRS. YOU SEEM LIKE A GOOD MAN AND I WONDER WHY YOU WOULD AGREE TO LET CORRUPT LAYWERS HANDLE YOUR BUSINESS.

SPECIFICALLY YOURS,
BEULAH BIJOUX

crookmip

I FOUND IT IN MY HOPE CHEST

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